Tag Archives: etiquette

An epidemic of bad behavior at the scoring table

Would you walk into a library and start talking loudly on the phone? What if the referee started loudly cheering for your opponent during a game?

In our first game of this season, the parent volunteer from the opposing team arrived and asked, “Do you have a spotter for me?” We were caught off guard by the question and responded that it wasn’t typical for the home team to provide a spotter for the visiting team.

She seemed offended, and it got worse from there. Throughout the game, she yelled directly at the officials and repeatedly interrupted our scoreboard operator, penalty clock keeper, and spotter. The weather was terrible – wind gusts were blowing our things off the table — and at times I could not even hear our own spotter, who was new to the role and needed silence to get accustomed to the job. These conditions caused us to have a highly stressful first game.

Not to mention how poorly she represented her program. This is where the real damage is done.

I’ve noticed since moving to Texas that the visiting team’s volunteers are almost always unaware of the processes, rules, and etiquette of the table. They arrive with incomplete or nonexistent rosters, or with players listed in the wrong order. They cheer loudly and unapologetically, have loud conversations, argue with the home team’s volunteers, don’t set their cell phones to silent, talk to their coaches mid-game… after 3 years of keeping the scorebook here, I’ve seen it all.

If you’re keeping the book for the visiting team, you are a guest and shouldn’t say a single word to anyone about the management of the game. Ask your questions before the game or during breaks, and make notes to discuss later, but do not interfere with the game management. This can be difficult, especially if the game is being mismanaged by the home team or the officials! But the time to raise issues is NOT during the game.

If you’re new to any of the scoring table jobs for your own team – first, thank you for volunteering! The table is truly the best seat in the stadium, but there are some tradeoffs. When you’re sitting at the scoring table, you’re a member of the officiating crew. Your job is to be a silent and neutral extension of the officiating squad. You’re not a parent, not a cheerleader, and definitely not a coach.

If you can’t control yourself and want to cheer, or are sitting on the team side of the field so that you can be close to your child during the game, you should be sitting in the stands.

At the table, understand that you have one job and should only do that job. If you’re keeping the penalty clock, don’t concern yourself with the scoreboard or the book. If you’re keeping the book, restrain yourself from interfering with clock management. (I had to remind myself to do this when the ref asked the table a clock question, and I answered incorrectly – it wasn’t my question to answer in the first place.)

Train yourself not to talk unless you’re fulfilling your own role. If another member of your crew needs help, they will ask. This is especially true for the spotter – don’t help the spotter unless they ask you to. The person recording the statistics is listening to every word the spotter says, and has to process and record the information quickly. If that information comes from the wrong place, confusion always ensues.

Sportsmanship extends to the table and leaves a permanent impression. It’s important that whether you’re home or away, you follow the processes and understand the roles so that you represent your team and community well.

There’s no scoring table etiquette manual out there, but I’ll write one now that I know we all need one. There is an official NCAA manual for statisticians and spotters. Read it, learn it, revisit it often.

Quick Guide to Scoring Table Etiquette

  • The table crew’s primary responsibility is to record the events in the game.
  • Table area is neutral zone.
  • Home and visiting table crews work with each other to keep accurate stats.
  • Referees and table crew work as a TEAM. The refs officiate the game while table crews record player stats and ref calls/rulings. Hence, prior to game, introduce yourselves to referees and opponent’s table crew.
  • Discuss with refs what they need from you and what you need from them.
  • Discuss with all members of the table crew your stat recording capabilities and pre-determine sharing of common stats (i.e., GBs, shots, etc.).
  • In any situation where a stat question arises, it is crucial that the statisticians of both teams discuss the situation so that both teams’ statistics are in sync. If the two statisticians cannot come to a mutually-agreed upon conclusion, the decision of the home statistician prevails.
  • Keep your eyes, ears and conversation in the table area focused on the events on the field. You can only record what you observe.
facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmailfacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmail

7 things every lacrosse parent needs to know

Ken Whisenhunt, Mike ShepherdDon’t yell at the officials. Ever.

In lacrosse, it’s a big huge no-no to say anything to the officials. Doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad.

Don’t comment on calls, don’t ask them if they saw that, pretty much just remember that you can’t and should not ever say anything to the officials.

Further, you should stop others from talking to the officials too. Many parents are new to lacrosse and don’t know the etiquette yet. They will never know unless you tell them. If the official gets upset at the parents, he can give your team a penalty.  You don’t want to be the reason your team lost the game.

The ONLY person allowed to speak to the officials is the head coach. Not even the assistant coaches can talk to the officials.

Just focus on your player and enjoy the game!

Learn the basics of the game

What’s the difference between an attack and a midfielder? Is one position better than the other? What is an LSM?

The more you know about the game, the more you’ll enjoy watching and supporting your player.

Don’t assume you know why a player is in or out of the game.

If you don’t understand why your player is coming in and out of the game, don’t assume. In lacrosse, there are players designated for specific roles.

For instance, if your son is sent on to play for 1 minute and then taken off, it’s possible he’s on the “MAN UP” or “MAN DOWN” squads, which only plays if someone is in the penalty box. I knew a parent who was furious for an entire season because she thought her son was only allowed to play a minute at a time. All of this anger was so unnecessary and really darkened her experience.

Players are also given the power to take themselves off the field. Often a player will remove himself from the game to catch his breath and the parent will get upset. Sometimes they get caught up in their own heads and just don’t want to play.

Have you asked your son if he knows why he isn’t playing? Sometimes players have been asked directly to make an improvement or a change on their own, and haven’t done it.

I recall an incident where a player was asked to fix his mesh because he was shooting very inaccurately for several days prior to a big game. He was told exactly what was wrong and how to correct it. He didn’t fix it, and his fellow players knew it because they had warmed up with him before the game. Is it fair to let him play even though he’s not holding up his end of the deal?  Of course not. You don’t get to play if you don’t do your part.

Here is a bit of insider advice. If you want to really understand the game, spend a little time volunteering on the other side of the field as a spotter, timer, or scorekeeper. This is a fun and engaging way to learn the game from the inside out. Then you can go back to the sidelines and help everyone else understand what’s going on.

If the sidelines aren’t your thing, find out which rules your club uses, then get the rule book and carry it with you to games. In Texas, we play NCAA college rules. Each state’s lacrosse governing body should have their rules posted online.

US Lacrosse put together a parents guide just for you!
Look! US Lacrosse put together a parents guide just for you!

Ask the coach in person. Don’t email and don’t text.

Got a burning question about your son’s playing time or team placement? Don’t ask on game day and don’t send a giant manifesto by email. Think back to the days before you could hide behind your computer, and have the respect for your coach to speak to him/her face to face at a time that’s good.

On game day, your head coach is fielding questions from hundreds of people – kids, parents, board members, volunteers, officials, assistant coaches, field managers, school administrators, and people from the opposing team.

Coach is usually an unpaid volunteer, or at best underpaid considering the number of hours he puts in. Coach also has a full-time day job that he has to be good at too.  Coach has a wife and a family who share him with your child for many evenings and weekends throughout the year. Why? Because he loves coaching and loves the game of lacrosse.

I suggest asking coach something like this… “Hi Coach, thanks for everything you do.  I was wondering if i could ask you some questions about {insert name of your awesome kid] at a time that’s good for you. Let me know when we can chat.”

homer_running

Running IS the game

In tryouts, I’ve never seen so many people freak out about their child running 1 or 2 miles and being timed. Have you ever watched a midfielder play lacrosse? They run the entire time.

A high school kid who wants to play varsity lacrosse should be able to run 2 miles in 16 minutes or less.

Think about that. 16 minutes of running is less than 2 quarters of a lacrosse game.

If your child isn’t a middie, the coaches are really watching for good attitudes during the run, not lightning speed.  What coach wouldn’t rather have a slow runner with an amazing attitude than a mediocre runner with a terrible attitude?

Play up whenever you can

Get killed. Yeah, losing sucks, but you know what sucks more? Winning all the time and never being challenged. Take every opportunity you can get to play tougher teams than yours and learn from it. Your kids will be surprised at what they’re capable of and come out better for it.

Take the long view. Trust me.

Tryouts didn’t turn out the way you expected? Wait a week and everything will be different. If your player truly belongs on Varsity, he’ll be moved up, I guarantee it. The worst mistake you can make is overreacting about team placement on the very first day.

Everything changes and coaches make adjustments throughout the season. Kids get sick or hurt or have to be away. Believe it or not, some kids even ask to be moved down to get more playing time.

When we as parents react badly to roster decisions, we set such a bad example and it sends the message to our coaches that we don’t trust them to make the best decisions. I’ve seen the inside of these decisions, and they are never made lightly.

And if your son is still on JV in a week or two, he’ll get to play every minute of every game and won’t that be way more fun than sitting on the Varsity bench with nothing to do?

Sometimes it’s best to just stay out of it

One of the saddest things I ever saw was a mom who was outraged that her son didn’t make Varsity and told everyone in town (except Coach) how upset she was. (The kid wasn’t upset.)

A few weeks later, when her son was called up to play on Varsity, she was outraged again because he was having such a good experience on JV and she didn’t want him to move up. The player never knew any of this was going on, but he did wonder for most of the season why all of his friends were playing up but he was still down there on JV.

A wise coach once said that “none of your team’s problems will happen on the field. The bad stuff all occurs OFF the field.” Don’t be part of the problems.

facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmailfacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmail