Starting a lacrosse program is a daunting task. We did it, but we didn’t do it alone! From an infrastructure standpoint, the best advice I can give you is to always look bigger than you actually are.
Several years into the development of our organization, a parent from another club mentioned to one of our board members that because our outward appearance (logo, website, branding, and overall attitude) was always so professional, everyone thought we were much further along and way more put together than we were.
I then understood in hindsight how important those little decisions were to growing our club quickly and being healthy. If you’re just getting started, it might seem like those are the things you could skimp on. But looking and acting organized and professional is part of what inspires kids and parents to try something new and not be afraid that it’s going to be a disaster.
Recipe for starting a lacrosse club:
FAITH
Don’t go out there saying, “if we get enough kids we’ll have a club.”
Instead say, “We ARE starting a club. We HAVE enough kids.” Never waver on this point. If you say “if,” you have already failed.
Never listen to the naysayers who think it’s too soon, there’s not enough money, there’s not enough kids, there’s not enough time. You already have enough of everything you need to play this game and when you put your plans into the world, the lacrosse community will meet you there and help you.
FUN
When kids have fun, it’s infectious and it spreads. If you can have fun on a field where people can drive by and see you having fun, even better. The word will spread quickly. (And when they go to Google to look for you, they better find something useful!)
Never exclude anyone. Be clear that it is open to all ages and all levels. Obstacles like getting gear, finding coaches, and renting fields are all problems that can be solved.
In lacrosse, it’s a big huge no-no to say anything to the officials. Doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad.
Don’t comment on calls, don’t ask them if they saw that, pretty much just remember that you can’t and should not ever say anything to the officials.
Further, you should stop others from talking to the officials too. Many parents are new to lacrosse and don’t know the etiquette yet. They will never know unless you tell them. If the official gets upset at the parents, he can give your team a penalty. You don’t want to be the reason your team lost the game.
The ONLY person allowed to speak to the officials is the head coach. Not even the assistant coaches can talk to the officials.
Just focus on your player and enjoy the game!
Learn the basics of the game
What’s the difference between an attack and a midfielder? Is one position better than the other? What is an LSM?
The more you know about the game, the more you’ll enjoy watching and supporting your player.
Don’t assume you know why a player is in or out of the game.
If you don’t understand why your player is coming in and out of the game, don’t assume. In lacrosse, there are players designated for specific roles.
For instance, if your son is sent on to play for 1 minute and then taken off, it’s possible he’s on the “MAN UP” or “MAN DOWN” squads, which only plays if someone is in the penalty box. I knew a parent who was furious for an entire season because she thought her son was only allowed to play a minute at a time. All of this anger was so unnecessary and really darkened her experience.
Players are also given the power to take themselves off the field. Often a player will remove himself from the game to catch his breath and the parent will get upset. Sometimes they get caught up in their own heads and just don’t want to play.
Have you asked your son if he knows why he isn’t playing? Sometimes players have been asked directly to make an improvement or a change on their own, and haven’t done it.
I recall an incident where a player was asked to fix his mesh because he was shooting very inaccurately for several days prior to a big game. He was told exactly what was wrong and how to correct it. He didn’t fix it, and his fellow players knew it because they had warmed up with him before the game. Is it fair to let him play even though he’s not holding up his end of the deal? Of course not. You don’t get to play if you don’t do your part.
Here is a bit of insider advice. If you want to really understand the game, spend a little time volunteering on the other side of the field as a spotter, timer, or scorekeeper. This is a fun and engaging way to learn the game from the inside out. Then you can go back to the sidelines and help everyone else understand what’s going on.
If the sidelines aren’t your thing, find out which rules your club uses, then get the rule book and carry it with you to games. In Texas, we play NCAA college rules. Each state’s lacrosse governing body should have their rules posted online.
Look! US Lacrosse put together a parents guide just for you!
Ask the coach in person. Don’t email and don’t text.
Got a burning question about your son’s playing time or team placement? Don’t ask on game day and don’t send a giant manifesto by email. Think back to the days before you could hide behind your computer, and have the respect for your coach to speak to him/her face to face at a time that’s good.
On game day, your head coach is fielding questions from hundreds of people – kids, parents, board members, volunteers, officials, assistant coaches, field managers, school administrators, and people from the opposing team.
Coach is usually an unpaid volunteer, or at best underpaid considering the number of hours he puts in. Coach also has a full-time day job that he has to be good at too. Coach has a wife and a family who share him with your child for many evenings and weekends throughout the year. Why? Because he loves coaching and loves the game of lacrosse.
I suggest asking coach something like this… “Hi Coach, thanks for everything you do. I was wondering if i could ask you some questions about {insert name of your awesome kid] at a time that’s good for you. Let me know when we can chat.”
Running IS the game
In tryouts, I’ve never seen so many people freak out about their child running 1 or 2 miles and being timed. Have you ever watched a midfielder play lacrosse? They run the entire time.
A high school kid who wants to play varsity lacrosse should be able to run 2 miles in 16 minutes or less.
Think about that. 16 minutes of running is less than 2 quarters of a lacrosse game.
If your child isn’t a middie, the coaches are really watching for good attitudes during the run, not lightning speed. What coach wouldn’t rather have a slow runner with an amazing attitude than a mediocre runner with a terrible attitude?
Play up whenever you can
Get killed. Yeah, losing sucks, but you know what sucks more? Winning all the time and never being challenged. Take every opportunity you can get to play tougher teams than yours and learn from it. Your kids will be surprised at what they’re capable of and come out better for it.
Take the long view. Trust me.
Tryouts didn’t turn out the way you expected? Wait a week and everything will be different. If your player truly belongs on Varsity, he’ll be moved up, I guarantee it. The worst mistake you can make is overreacting about team placement on the very first day.
Everything changes and coaches make adjustments throughout the season. Kids get sick or hurt or have to be away. Believe it or not, some kids even ask to be moved down to get more playing time.
When we as parents react badly to roster decisions, we set such a bad example and it sends the message to our coaches that we don’t trust them to make the best decisions. I’ve seen the inside of these decisions, and they are never made lightly.
And if your son is still on JV in a week or two, he’ll get to play every minute of every game and won’t that be way more fun than sitting on the Varsity bench with nothing to do?
Sometimes it’s best to just stay out of it
One of the saddest things I ever saw was a mom who was outraged that her son didn’t make Varsity and told everyone in town (except Coach) how upset she was. (The kid wasn’t upset.)
A few weeks later, when her son was called up to play on Varsity, she was outraged again because he was having such a good experience on JV and she didn’t want him to move up. The player never knew any of this was going on, but he did wonder for most of the season why all of his friends were playing up but he was still down there on JV.
A wise coach once said that “none of your team’s problems will happen on the field. The bad stuff all occurs OFF the field.” Don’t be part of the problems.
Life as a lacrosse coach's wife, scorekeeper, watcher & superfan…
